Labor Pains
by mschweezy
Summary: After months of avoiding, Kankuro finds himself stuck with a very angry, very pregnant Ino, and her husband still isn't home. Damnit Gaara, where the hell are you? One-shot. Image Credit: ritam on deviantART


**Labor Pains  
**

Ino sighed for the hundredth time that day as she looked out the window that over looked the entire village. He had only been gone for four days, but it seemed like he had been gone a month or more. She was so bored without him. She placed a hand on her very swollen belly and sighed once more. _Why did he have to go anyway? Couldn't someone else gone as a representative? _

Kankuro yawned as he entered the Kazekage's office, expecting to be greeted by nothingness seeing as Gaara was away on a treaty mission. So it surprised him to see his brother's very pregnant wife sitting next to the window, looking out of it wistfully.

"Uh, hey Ino," Kankuro called, grabbing her attention. Ino turned to look at him, her wistful stare turned into a scowl.

"Why couldn't you have gone on the treaty mission?" She growled, standing up and stalking towards him. "Why didn't he make you? I'm thirty-eight weeks pregnant! Why did he think that it was okay to leave me?!"

Kankuro's eyes widened as he watched the large-bellied woman come towards him in a fit of rage. Ino had always been slightly scary, she had always had mood swings that he could never predict, but ever since she got pregnant she was crazy. Like clinically insane. Kankuro had spent the last thirty weeks or so trying to avoid her, and he had been doing really well until his stupid brother decided to go to Konoha. _Damn it Gaara, how could you leave me with this monster?_ "How are you feeling Ino?" Kankuro asked as he stepped around the fuming woman to set a few documents on his absent brother's desk.

"How am I feeling? How am I feeling?! Let me tell you how I am feeling!" Ino yelled advancing on the puppet master once again. She was about to let him have a piece of her mind before she gasped and grabbed his arm tightly and placed a hand on her swollen stomach.

Kankuro grabbed her arm to support her, his brow furrowed with worry. "Are you okay?"

Ino took a deep breath and opened her eyes slowly and looked up at her brother in-law, "It's time."

Kankuro's worried expression turned into one of confusion, "It's time for what?"

Ino let out a frustrated sigh as she slapped his arm a little too hard to be playful, "The baby! The baby is coming!"

Kankuro's eyes shot open and he grabbed Ino by the shoulders. "Oh shit! Okay, okay, don't panic Ino! We can do this! Just don't panic Ino!" Kankuro shouted frantically.

Ino rolled her eyes at the man in front of her as she turned and walked towards the door. "Kankuro, shut up and help me to the hospital."

"Right the hospital!" he shouted as he ran ahead of Ino to open the door for her.

**-HOUR 1-**

Ino stopped abruptly and squeezed onto Kankuro's arm. He stopped with her and watched her worriedly.

"You okay?" he asked cautiously. He had learned throughout her pregnancy that whenever you ask that question there were two ways she could react. One, she would either be extremely touched that you were caring or two, she would be super pissed.

"No I'm not fine! I'm in fucking labor!" She growled at him. _Super pissed, yup, sounds about right_.

Before Kankuro could try to placate his sister-in-law an ANBU appeared next to the two. "Ino-sama, are you alright?"

Ino glared at the ANBU before barking orders at the poor unsuspecting man, "Go send the fastest messenger hawk there is to Konoha. Send it to Naruto, the Hokage, explaining that I am in labor and Gaara needs to come home now. Also make sure Akimichi Chouji comes along with him."

The ANBU stared at the bossy woman, not knowing exactly how to handle the strange situation.

"What the hell are you doing still standing there!? Go!" She screamed, drawing the attention of some passing civilians. The ANBU nodded quickly and disappeared.

"You didn't need to yell," Kankuro said and he started walking with Ino towards the hospital once again.

Ino turn her glare on him, "Shut up." She stopped again forcing Kankuro to turn his attention back on her.

"What?" he asked.

"Go make sure that ANBU sends the letter, I don't trust him. He doesn't seem very bright," she stated bluntly.

Kankuro sighed and ran a hand over his face, "Ino I can't just leave you here."

Ino looked around and spotted a nearby civilian, "Hey!" Said civilian turned and smiled at Kankuro and Ino and walked over.

"Ino-sama, how are you today?" the older lady asked as she approached them.

"Not too well actually, I have gone into labor and Kankuro needs to go send word to Konoha to have Gaara-sama return early from his trip. Would you mind escorting me to the hospital?" Ino asked politely, making Kankuro grumble next to her about not treating him well.

The civilian woman gasped and took hold of Ino's arm, "Of course Ino-sama!"

Ino smiled at the woman and thanked her before turning to Kankuro, "Now go send the message!" Kankuro let out a sigh and nodded his head once and vanished just as the ANBU did earlier.

**-HOUR 7-**

"Just get out!" screamed an enraged blonde woman.

"Ino, calm down she's just doing her job," Kankuro sighed, casting an apologetic look towards the nurse that was now leaving the room.

As soon as the door closed in let out a huff and crossed her arms across her chest. "I don't like her."

Kankuro rolled his eyes at his sister-in-law, "Why don't you like her?"

"Because she's always tried to take Gaara from me," Ino stated as she shrugged her shoulders.

"What?" Kankuro stared, disbelieving at Ino.

She turned her head to look at him, a glare set on her face. "She's always flirting with him when he comes here, and she's been even more flirty and playful ever since I got fat."

"That's ridiculous," Kankuro chuckled lightly.

"No it's not, it's true!" Ino insisted. "Every time I had a check-up she was here and when she would escort us back she would always laugh at everything Gaara said, and touch his arm. I've been married to the man for five years, he's not that funny."

Kankuro thought about it for a minute and started to laugh. Ino pouted and looked away from her brother-in-law, "Don't laugh at me."

"Ino, of course girls are going to be flirting with Gaara, he's a powerful man and he's not that bad on the eyes either, but he loves you. You're the only woman he has and will ever love," Kankuro said, hoping to placate the blonde maniac.

Ino's pout turned into a bright smile, "Aw, thank you Kankuro."

**-HOUR 14-**

"Ugh, I'm so bored!" Ino whined as she dropped the magazine she was reading in her lap and flopped back on to her pillow.

"Me too," Kankuro mumbled.

"Oh well I'm sorry you have sit with poor pregnant me! I'm sorry that I don't have a husband to take care of me!" Ino yelled at Kakuro who only sighed, very used to her crazy outbursts by now.

"That's not what I meant," he said running a hand over his face.

Ino sat up and turned her body towards the puppet master, "Entertain me."

"How?"

"I don't know; tell me a story or something."

"What kind of story?" he asked.

"I don't know," she started before clenching her eyes shut as her face scrunched up in pain, a contraction taking her off guard. She took in a deep breath and focused her attention back on Kankuro hoping to distract herself, "How's your love life lately? I feel like I haven't seen you in months actually."

"Oh well it's been the same old, same old. I took the girl from that purse shop you like so much out last weekend," Kankuro shrugged, bypassing the fact that he really hadn't seen her in months on purpose.

"Damn it, now I can't go back there," Ino frowned.

Kankuro laughed as he scratched the back of his head, "Yeah, I didn't call her back."

Ino chuckled, "Yeah I figured. So what was wrong with her?"

"I don't know, we just didn't really click," Kankuro shrugged.

"You know who's cute," Ino started as she tapped her chin in thought, "that waitress that works at the sushi place that we went to before Gaara left."

Kankuro thought about it for a minute before answering, "Yeah she was really cute actually."

"Yeah, and she was totally checking you out while we were there. Oh! I know!" Ino decided as she pounded her fist into the palm of her other hand. "You can use the baby to get her to notice you! It will show her that you can be domestic!"

Kankuro's eyes widened at the statement that was just made and was definitely shocked, "Wow Yamanaka, I didn't know you would use your baby to pick up chicks."

"Oh no, I would never do that, it's a terrible thing, but you would," Ino laughed as she waved her hand in front of her face.

Kankuro joined in her laughter, "Yeah, I totally would, but Gaara would probably kill me."

"Nah, I'll distract him," Ino winked, earning a groan from the listening party.

"Ew, Ino, gross! I told you to never tell me details about that stuff," Kankuro groaned as he dropped his head into his hands.

Ino let out a hardy laugh, "Oh whatever! I know you ask Gaara for the details."

Kankuro lifted his head from his hands, "It's different when hearing it from a guy's perspective. Especially Gaara's. You give WAY too many details."

**-HOUR 26-**

Ino squeezed her eyes shut as another contraction washed over her. Kankuro winced in pain as the former Konoha kunoichi squeezed his hand through the contraction. As her pain subsided and her grip on the puppet master's hand loosened there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" Kankuro called as he flexed and clenched the hand that had just been squeezed, trying to get the feeling to come back to it.

The door swung open to reveal Shikamaru and Temari. "Oh thank Kami you two are here!" Kankuro exclaimed, relief washing over him. He stood up and walked over to his sister and wrapped her up in a hug.

"Shikamaru! Where's Gaara? Is he back yet?" Ino questioned as she waved her old teammate over.

"You okay?" Temari asked Kankuro as she patted his back comfortingly.

"She's crazy Temari, absolutely crazy," Kankuro whispered to his sister.

"No, he's still not back Ino, unfortunately he probably won't make it back in time for the birth, but that's okay because I'll stay here with you," Shikamaru soothed as he grasped his oldest friend's hand.

Tears started to form in the mind-walker's eyes, "He has to make it back in time! This baby is not allowed to be born without him here!"

"Ino," Shikamaru started, trying to calm the frantic blonde.

"And Chouji! Where is Chouji? Did you send a message to him?" Her question was directed at Kankuro.

"Yeah, in the letter I sent to the Hokage it said to inform Gaara as well as Chouji that you were in labor," Kankuro nodded.

"Then why aren't they here yet!" Ino screamed.

Shikamaru sighed, "Ino even with the fasted messenger hawk it would have taken at least a day to get there. Then factor in the time it would take Naruto to distribute the message, and then it would take Gaara and Chouji probably two days to get here at their fastest. You've been in labor for about twenty-six hours, so that means Naruto has probably just gotten the message."

Ino fixed a glare on her logical teammate, "Can't you just say something that will make me feel better please?"

"You're still just as radiant as ever," Shikamaru smirked.

Ino chuckled and rolled her eyes as she leaned over and bumped her shoulder against his. "Just shut up you lazy ass."

Temari cleared her throat to draw the two Konoha shinobis' attention, "We are going to go to the office to make sure everything is running smoothly, but it shouldn't take but thirty minutes so don't worry. We will be back in no time."

"Don't rush," Ino smiled, "this baby isn't coming out until Gaara is here."

"I don't think you have control over that," Kankuro said.

Ino narrowed her eyes, "Oh yes I do, I'm this baby's mother, and it will do as I say!"

"Okay," Temari smiled, trying to placate the blonde tyrant, "we are just going to go now." She grabbed her brother by the wrist and pulled him out of the hospital room quickly.

As soon as the door closed behind them Kankuro turned to his sister, "I told you she was crazy. I mean she's always been a little crazy, but now she's just full on psycho."

Temari chuckled as they started to make their way towards the office, "Leave her alone. She's going through a rough time. She's about to have a baby without her husband here, that's got to be hard on her."

"Yes, defend the clinically insane blonde that has been terrorizing me for over a day now," Kankuro grumbled as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

**-HOUR 32-**

Shikamaru looked over at Ino to see her face scrunched up in pain with her fists clenching the sheets of the bed. "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm just peachy! My husband is two days away and I'm going have this baby alone! I'm practically a single mom!" Ino yelled as she burst into tears.

Shikamaru let out an exasperated sigh at the dramatics Ino was exuding, "Ino, you are not a single mom."

"How do you know?! For all I know he's there in Konoha cheating on me because I'm too fat and ugly now!" Ino cried as she turned to glare at the shadow master.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Ino he's not cheating on you. You are being overly dramatic."

"I'm being overly dramatic? Let me show you overly dramatic Nara! Get out! Get out my room right now!" She screamed as she grabbed the pillow that she was resting on to begin beating her best friend. Shikamaru stood up to get out of the swing zone of the brutal kunoichi.

"Ino calm down," he sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No! I will not calm down! Now go away! I don't want you here! I want Gaara!" She yelled even louder causing a nurse to come in to check on the woman.

"Ino-sama, you need to calm down or it will hurt the baby," the nurse explained in a soothing tone.

"You hear that Shikamaru! You're making me hurt my baby!" Ino wailed causing Shikamaru just to roll his eyes once more. He had grown up with her and was used to her dramatic behavior, and he had been around her throughout her entire pregnancy and knew that she was going to be crazy. He tried to explain this to the Subaku family but no one had believed him except Gaara.

"Okay Ino, I'm going to go for a walk so you can calm down, just call for me when you want me to come back, okay?" he said in a level tone.

"Come back? I don't want you to come back! I just want you to leave!" She shouted at him, throwing her pillow in the process. He easily caught it and handed it to the nurse and walked out of the room calmly. As he left he met up with his fiancée and soon to be brother-in-law.

"How is she?" Temari asked.

"Crazy as normal. She now believes Gaara is in Konoha to cheat on her because she is, and I quote, too fat and ugly," Shikamaru explained as he took a seat.

"That is ridiculous!" Temari scoffed as she took a seat next to her fiancée.

"Yeah, he wouldn't cheat on her for being fat, and I don't think Ino could ever be ugly. He would cheat on her because she's crazy," Kankuro stated.

"Kankuro!" Temari growled.

"What? If I were married to her I would cheat on her because she's crazy," he mumble as he sank down into his seat.

**-HOUR 45-**

"Alright Ino-sama, it's time to push," the doctor explained.

Ino's eyes widen and she felt herself start to panic, "What? No! No it's not time yet! Gaara's not here!"

"I'm sorry Ino-sama, but we can't wait any longer or we will risk the baby's health."

"But I can't do this alone!" Ino panicked, tears starting to stream down her face.

The doctor nodded towards one of the nurse's in the room who went towards the door. She opened the door and stuck her head out in the hallway, "Nara-san, we think you should probably come back in here."

Shikamaru nodded and let out a yawn before proceeding into the delivery room. He walked in to see Ino crying and arguing with the doctor. He walked over to her left side and grabbed her hand drawing her attention with it. "Come on Ino, it's time. No more waiting, no more stalling. It's time for you to have your baby."

Panic was written all over face as she stared, wide-eyed, at her teammate, "I can't do it Shikamaru. I can't have this baby alone! I'm not ready!"

"Hey!" he shouted causing Ino to stop blabbering and give him her attention. "You can do this. Your name might have changed to Subaku, but you are still a Yamanaka. And since when do Yamanaka's back down from anything? I'm right here. So you _can_ do this, okay?"

She took a deep breath and nodded, "Thanks Shika."

"Are you ready Ino-sama?" the doctor asked. Ino looked over at the woman and hesitated before she nodded. "Okay, let's do this then. Let's have this baby!"

Before the doctor could instruct Ino to push the doors flew open to reveal a very wide-eyed and disheveled looking Kazekage.

"Gaara!" Ino smiled and relief washed over her. Shikamaru chuckled at the appearance of the about to be father. His eyes were wide with what could only be determined as fear, and panic was evident on his face. His hair was sticking up even more than usual and his clothes were covered in dirt and sand.

"Ino," he breathed as he rushed over to her side, Shikamaru easily letting her hand go and stepping out of the way.

"You made it," Ino smiled as tears began to form in her eyes once again.

"Glad to have you here Kazekage-sama, but Ino-sama you really need to start pushing now before the baby gets affected," the doctor informed the couple. Ino nodded and grabbed her husband's hand tightly, a new found determination covering her face. Shikamaru chuckled slightly and let him out of the room as Ino began her first push.

"How is she?" Temari asked as the door clicked shut.

Shikamaru smiled at his fiancée and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "Much better now that Gaara is here. That baby should be here in no time."

"Ugh finally," Kankuro groaned, slumping down in his seat.

Temari laughed at her brother and leaned her head onto Shikamaru's shoulder. They were silent for a moment as they heard Ino's agonized screams coming from the delivery room before Temari looked up at the shadow nin, "Do you think she will stop being so crazy after the baby is born?"

Kankuro turned to look at Shikamaru , his eyes hopeful. Shikamaru sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Nope. Ino and crazy are just a package deal."

Kankuro let out a groan and let his head fall into his hands. "Damnit," he cursed, "I was hoping this baby would calm her down and make her nicer."

Shikamaru laughed lightly at the brooding sand nin, "I've known her my entire life, and there were only two times that she actually acted like a normal person, without all the drama and dramatics, and that's when Asuma and her dad died. And you can trust me trust me, she's not Ino without the drama."

Kankuro lifted his head up from his hands, "Maybe we should kill Gaara then…"

Temari glared at her brother, "That's not funny Kankuro!"

"It's not a joke," Kankuro answered as he retrieved his puppet from his back. "Let's do this Crow."

Temari laughed as she threw her empty water bottle at Kankuro, hitting him directly on the head. "Ow, Temari!" he whined.

Before Temari could answer her whining brother a large man burst through the hospital doors, out of breath and covered in sand.

"Chouji!" Shikamaru called, waving him over with a smile on his face.

"Shikamaru!" Chouji greeted in response. The two grasping hands and hugging each other. "It's great to see you buddy, how's Ino doing?"

"It's good to see you too, and she's fine. Crazy and loud like normal, but the baby should be here anytime," Shikamaru answered as he took his seat once more.

Chouji chuckled at the description of his old teammate and sat next to his best friend. "Sounds like Ino. I was worried she would refuse to have the baby until Gaara got back, and according to Sakura that could be dangerous to the baby."

"Well you thought right. She's been refusing to have the damn kid for about two hours now, the doctors were preparing for a crash C-section if she kept refusing," Shikamaru explained, his eyes drooping slightly from exhaustion.

"Let me guess, you finally talked her into pushing when Gaara showed up," Chouji smirked at his tired friend.

Shikamaru returned the Akimichi's smirk and nodded.

* * *

Ino's smile was so bright that one could compare it to the sun as she looked down on her beautiful baby that she cradled in her arms, but that wasn't what was taking the breath away from everyone that was walking into the room of the First Lady. No one could focus on how radiant Ino looked or even how beautiful and adorable the new addition to the family was. No, the thing that was taking everyone's breath away was the smile that had found its way onto the Kazekage's face. He was smiling, something the employees of the hospital had never seen before. He was smiling in a way that even his family had never seen before. This was a pure joyful and prideful smile that was accompanied with small tears in his eyes as he looked down on his baby and wife.

Ino tore her gaze from her new child and looked up at her husband, whose eyes were still trained on the bundled baby. "Gaara," she called getting him to look in her eyes. He smiled even wider as he leaned down to kiss his beautiful wife. "What are we going to name her?"

Gaara shook his head as he wrapped his arm around his wife and sat down next to her on the bed, "Anything you want my love."

Ino smiled and kissed him once more before looking back down at the sleeping baby girl in her arms. "Why don't we name her Karura?"

Gaara's eyes widened in shock as he looked at his wife, "Are you—are you sure?"

Ino turned her attention to her husband and giggled when she saw the shocked look on his face. "Of course!"

His smiled softened and he pressed his lips against hers tenderly. When he pulled away he leaned his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Ino smiled and kissed her lover once more, "There is nothing to be sorry for," she reassured him gently. Before he could press the matter there was a small knock at the door. "Come in," Ino called. The door opened to reveal her siblings-in-law and her two best friends and ex-teammates.

"Chouji!" Ino smiled as her eyes laid on the big-boned shinobi.

He returned her smile and walked over to the side of her bed. He set his backpack down by the end table and leaned over to wrap his old teammate in a hug, being mindful of the small bundle she held in her arms. Ino's smile grew as she leaned into her old teammate. Chouji pulled away and crouched down by his backpack, "I brought you something." He pulled out a vase full of flowers that had been carefully stored in his pack.

Ino's smile softened and tears began to well up in her eyes as he placed the vase of violet bush clovers on the end table next to her bed. "Thank you Chouji," she said as one hand went to caress one of the soft petals. She turned her attention back to the room and shifted the small bundle in her arms so everyone could see the baby she held. "Everyone," she started, her smile growing wide again as she looked at her baby girl, "I would like you to meet Subaku no Karura."

Temari and Kankuro's eyes widened at the announcement of the name before both had enormous smiles covering their faces. Ino turned to Chouji, "Would you like to hold her?"

He nodded quickly and Ino carefully shifted the bundle to her teammate's arms. He smiled down at the baby as it slept peacefully. "She's beautiful," Chouji whispered as he walked over to the group that was formed at the foot of Ino's bed. He looked up to see the giddy look on Temari's face as she leaned over to get a look at her new niece.

"Would you like to hold her Temari?" Chouji chuckled.

Her smile brightened even more as she nodded her head excitedly. Chouji carefully transferred the baby to the excited new aunt. "Oh my goodness," Temari whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "She's so perfect."

Kankuro leaned over his sister's shoulder to take a better look at his niece to only have his breath taken away, just as everyone else had. "Wow," Kankuro breathed, "she's so tiny."

Temari chuckled and turned towards her younger brother, "Do you wanna hold her?"

Kankuro's eyes widened in surprise before he shook his head quickly. "Oh yes you do! How could you not? She's perfect!" Ino exclaimed.

"I-I don't want to break her," Kankuro whispered. Ino rolled her eyes and pointed to the chair sitting next to her bed. "Sit," she commanded. Kankuro obeyed the feisty blonde quickly. Ino waved Temari over and scooped her small daughter into her own arms. She smiled at the sleeping girl before she set her into her uncle's shaking arms.

"She's so light," Kankuro gasped when Ino had set Karura into his arms.

"Well duh, she's a newborn, what did you expect?" Ino laughed lightly.

"I don't know, you had gotten so fat I just expected her to be bigger," Kankuro shrugged without thinking.

An uncomfortable silence washed over the group immediately as they felt Ino's anger radiate off of her. Kankuro sat oblivious to the seething woman as he smiled down at his sleeping niece.

"What did you just say?" Ino growled.

"Just that," Kankuro started as he lifted his eyes to meet the new mother's before he stopped in his tracks. He sucked in air when he saw the pure rage pooling in her eyes. Kankuro quickly glanced at his brother for help to see Gaara pinching the bridge of his nose. Temari recognized the immediate danger and swooped Karura from Kankuro's arms to place her in Ino's.

"She looks just like you Ino!" Temari exclaimed a little too enthusiastically to hopefully divert the seething mother's attention. Luckily for the puppet master it did.

"I don't know, I think she might look more like Gaara," Ino said smiling as she studied the face of her sleeping child.

"Well she definitely has your eyes," Chouji commented.

"But we probably won't know what color her hair is actually going to be for some time," Shikamaru stated, looking at the light colored peach fuzz covering the baby's head.

"Yeah, but she has Gaara's nose," Ino continued, her previous anger forgotten as she stroked the cheek of the sleeping baby.

Kankuro let out an inaudible sigh of relief as he sank down into the chair where he resided, making a mental note on how to distract Ino when he pissed her off. Kankuro glanced at both his siblings to see their shared, _you're a dumb ass_, look before looking back at his niece and realizing nine months of crazy was definitely worth it.

* * *

_I hope you enjoyed it! I had a really fun time writing this story, and I know people are out of character and certain things are probably impossible, (like getting to Suna from Konoha in like 30 some hours) but just go with it! :)_


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